By Tom La Combe
It’s early September,
the weather is perfect, students are still buzzing around in communities on the
back-to-school high, and it’s football season.
On this particularly memorable day, I was working what I thought would
be a typical trip. I am a locomotive
engineer, so “typical” is sort of relative.
This day is not
particularly memorable because of the perfect weather and favorable fall
conditions. It’s because I was forced to
be part of someone’s death, watching it happen, powerless to stop it. You don’t go to work thinking you’re going to
kill someone today…
When it happened I was
in shock. That’s strange for me because
I’m generally pretty pragmatic/stoic, whatever the right word is. But even the most grounded and practical
people can never be prepared for being forced to participate in someone else’s
death.
The details of exactly
what happened are not something that I talk about, except to other
railroaders. They understand it, because
a good number of them have been through it.
I did tell my wife, though. A
surprisingly hard call to make, I wasn’t sure what I would say until she
answered the phone. “Well, it happened …
(a long pause) I killed someone today.”
The words still ring in
my ears - like someone else saying it while I sit as a casual observer. It’s strange - at the time I was so numb when
I made the call. The hours and days
afterward were anything but numb.
For two days I couldn’t
sleep or eat. Besides having to be
present for the actual experience, my body’s reaction to it was also deeply
troubling. A trespasser ran in front of
my train, there was no way I could have stopped in time, and the inevitable
consequence happened. Why is that so
difficult? It is against the law to be
on railroad property, it is private property.
It’s so
complicated. That fatality was out of my
control! As tragic as that is for the
victim, the victim is not the only one involved. The witnesses (locomotive engineer, conductor,
and others), emergency responders, law enforcement, coroner, family, and
friends - also out of their control!
Close your eyes for a
few seconds and picture yourself in the cab of a train, watching a nightmare
develop for an excruciating eternity, which is in reality maybe less than 10
seconds. Then, marinate on this reality:
I am the last living person this guy is going to see - ever. I can’t even describe the look in a person’s
eyes (and yes - we do get close enough to see that look) when the reality of
death hits. I will tell you that’s
something that will creep a person out until their last day on earth.
In fact, someone still
chases me around in my dreams because of what I think I caused. But there’s the rub. I didn’t cause it. Not driving around gates and not trespassing
are decisions I can’t make for someone else.
Nor for the countless “close calls” that have happened since. And every one of those takes me right back to
the first fatality.
When that happens; some
crew members never get back on a train, their career is over. Some cope; some get out and talk about
it. I am in the latter class. I volunteer with my railroad’s peer support
and I volunteer with Kansas Operation Lifesaver, a not-for-profit program. In my career I will have spoken to more than
35,000 people about railroad safety.
If what I say can sink
in to even just one person, it is all worth it.
But I hope it’s more than a thousand.
You can help, so I never have to make that call again. Stay off railroad property and never try to beat a train. See Tracks?
Think Train!
Tom La Combe is a
Locomotive Engineer with the Union Pacific Railroad and a Kansas Operation
Lifesaver volunteer
Train crossings are easy to become complacent about, so I appreciate this reminder of how dangerous they can be. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your experience. Not the type of experience you want but maybe it might prevent someone else from having a similar experience.
ReplyDeleteThe stark reality of many train crews, everyday close calls with motorists who take unnecessary chances trying to beat the train just to save a few seconds or people trespassing on the railroad right-of-way. And then the the inevitable occurs the motorist/trespasser is struck. Statistics show every 3-hours a train crew is forced to be a part of these incidents. Thank you for your story and dedication trying to educate people.
ReplyDelete